Happy National Grammar Day! Good Grammar is Sexy

I find your correct use of the semicolon incredibly sexy.

As a writer grammar is pretty important to me. No one wants to be in the middle of a steamy scene and be distracted by dangling modifiers or comma splices. 

I'll bet that in school you thought that grammar was boring, but I'll prove to you today that proper grammar is totally sexy.

Affect versus Effect

What's the difference? Affect is a verb, that means "to influence." Effect is a noun that means "a result of something." At least most of the time.


The sight of Julia's heaving bosom affected all the men around her.

The effect of proper lube for anal play is amazing.

Who versus Whom

Okay, this one is a bit tricker. You use "who" when you are talking about a subject, and you use "whom" when you are talking about an object. 

Don't get scared by the words subject and object, it's super easy. The subject of a sentence does the action, and the object receives the action.

For example

Luis licked Sarah's nipple.

Luis is the subject. He's the one acting. Sarah is the object. She's getting her nipples licked. Lucky her.

So back to "who" and "whom." 


Who broke my glass dildo?

Here the dildo is the object, and I want to know who did the action.

Whom were you fisting on Friday?

You are the subject, and I want to know about the object of your action.

Lay versus Lie

I don't think any of us wants to review what a direct object is, so I'll make this short and sweet.

You lie down yourself, but you lay down something else.


Christian lay the flogger on the side table.

Sally lies on her bed bound in rope.

I.e. versus E.g.

People misuse this all the time. It's not as annoying as switching your for you're, but it's pretty bad.

"I.e." and "e.g." mean basically the same thing in Latin, but that's not going to help us here. What you need to remember is "i.e." is used basically like the phrase "in other words." "E.g." is used like the phrase "for example."


Ophelia is a bottom, i.e. she is a submissive who is controlled by her dominant partner.

William loves BDSM, e.g. being spanked, bound, or covered in hot wax.

Don't  you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

That's all for the sexy grammar lesson of the day. 

What grammar tips do you have? What grammar rules do you always forget?